I’m not going to pussyfoot around the situation; the fact that Donald Trump will be inaugurated as our president on Friday is flipping whack! I am still waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump out from behind the fake news desk of CNN and laugh in our faces as he reveals the greatest return of PUNK’D there ever was. Until that happens, and Lord, I’m hoping it does–we need to put on our big girl panties and grab this Inauguration Day by the pu$$y.
To get things rolling, I’ve taken it upon myself to plan a menu for your Inaugural Dinner Party. Whether you’re bat-shit crazy (i.e.celebrating a Trump victory), or planning the last supper (because we’re all.going.to.die), there’s something in this meal for everyone! And I know it’s against dinner party etiquette, but you simply MUST talk politics at the table! Cheers to one effed up evening!
A Recipe For Disaster
Cocktails: Depending on what side of the aisle you sit, you can choose between one subtle cocktail or a kick in the pants. Either will leave you with something Trump likes down his throat. And by all means, wine and whine all you want!
For your more bigly dinner guest, you can offer Whipped Liver–but if you’re anything like the rest of us, we’ve taken care of that on our own since election day. We’re going to honor blue collar America and simplify with Little Weenies in a blanket. Simple, easy and will make your hands feel huuuuuge in the process.
Main Course: It’s a fowl dish, but Orange Jerk Chicken is what’s for dinner. I was going to go for all-white meat, but you can jerk around a spread eagle whole hen without needing to ask for permission first. A little truffle butter can go a long way to add some extra flavor to this bird.
Sides: To honor our #2 in command, we can lend an ear to Mr. Pence. A little Indiana Creamed Corn will be a perfect side to our hot rubbed hen. Sauteed garlic and spinach will help flush the liver as you overindulge in the days and weeks ahead.
Dessert: For dessert, we’ll undress our desires with a satisfying Slavonic Sweet Treat, Bled Cream Cake. It’ll spike your blood pressure and blood sugar all in one creamy bite!
To accompany your meal, enjoy the jams I put together for you!
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