I’M TURNING FORTY in T-minus two days. I know, but I look soooooooo young! Right?
This won’t be the last you hear of my birthday between now and then either. Sorry, not sorry.
I am keenly aware of all the blessings in my life. Truly, I have everything I want, and more. My family, my friends, my home, my life—my cup runneth over. But for “the sake of the blog” let’s indulge.
I understand this doesn’t leave you much time to shop. To be honest, though, I’ve alluded to some of these things prior to this post. If you haven’t been paying close enough attention, whose fault is that? I guess I can always come tattoo it on your forehead by sundown!
ONE: A BEETLE
An antique, life-size, real-driving convertible VW Beetle. (Why not start off strong?)
Yellow, Red, Turquoise or White. I can make any color work. I’ve been dreaming of this since I was a little girl. Top down, radio on. The sunshine on my face, BIG ol’ retro bug sunglasses, and a navy bandana with white polka dots. I get it—it’s not going to happen. But this is my list, and I’m not budging.
I want a whole day without arguing, fighting, asking anyone to do anything more than once, shrill voices, or sharp responses. I want pleasantries, hugs, and happiness, dammit!
A warm, quiet, dark room, far away from my house. I am to be pampered (fondled?) by someone I don’t know. He (or she) is strong and silent. I call all the shots—and melt away.
It’s the best four letter F word. It’s also a bit of a stress point for me—deciding on the meal for big events. It always feels like it could be my last time to choose. (I am getting up there in age so I suppose it’s a reasonable concern at this point.) However, FOR THE SAKE OF THE BLOG, if I had to choose:
FIVE: FRIENDS & FAMILY
This will be a tough one and will have to be sprinkled throughout the weeks, month, or year—but Michelle Obama would definitely be added to the roster.
Is it too much to ask? I want eyebrows that won’t come off in spin class, or the ocean, or if I scratch my forehead. I want to wake up and not gasp when I look in the mirror.
SEVEN: MEMES & GIFS
Facebook can be a really fun place to be on your birthday, especially when you can’t be WITH your family and friends. We’ve all given (and received) the obligatory “Happy Birthday” with no other punctuation, affection, or expression of love—you know what would be really fun? Homemade or found memes and gifs that are about me or reminded you of me! Yes, I’m getting particular here—but I’m also turning forty and not getting a Volkswagen.
The weather is beyond our control, but if I got my birthday wish, it would include sunshine and warmth. I want to walk my dog, or ride a bike, or at the very least…see the sun. Isn’t that so sunny side?
I realize that I could also put “trip to warm place” on this list of ten—but I’m saving up for a VW bug, haven’t you heard?
Do not confuse this with a surprise party. Not looking for anything too shocking in my old age. I’m thinking… the little thing that I didn’t plan myself. Say…a note that expresses how much you love our friendship. A playlist just for me. Arrange for Ryan Gosling to clean my house in his underwear. The little things that would trigger my crooked smile and lazy eye, igniting that warm, wet feeling that only Ryan Gos…okay… whatever you think of will be great!
TEN: A MUSICAL NUMBER
I quite literally wish to be part of a musical number…where some ordinary everyday thing is happening and the conversation turns to song. The song turns to dance. One performer turns to ten. WE SING AND DANCE OUR HEARTS OUT as if that is just what you do. I mean, am I the only one who walks around developing musical scores for each of the day’s moments? And in my head… I dance. (When I’m home, I actually dance!) And it’s JUST.LIKE.THE.MOVIES. I know—I live in LaLa Land. Ryan Gosling is there too.
So happy birthday to me! Quit reading…you have some planning to do!