Your Dad Is Not Perfect
Your dad is not perfect. It’s a tough blow to publicize, but it’s the truth.
You see kids—when you were just a twinkle in my eye and a stir in dad’s pants, we had lofty parent goals. (#parentgoals would have been our hashtag).
The dreams were simple and sweet. A perfectly happy and put together family. Mini Mom and Mini Dad— they’d walk like us and talk like us and just love us to pieces…no drama, no spills—just thrills.
We were going to be the cool parents because of course—we’d do it all right. We’d be pillars of modern day parenting. No fighting, no contention, because—goals.
Fast forward a bit and read beTWEEN the lines. (#tweens #teens #holycrap!) Parenting is hard and your dad and I aren’t always feeling like we’re hitting our #goals.
DAD IS AN IMPERFECT MAN.
He tries hard and doesn’t always hit the mark. Allow me to explain…
Sometimes dad yells, likely because he cares. And when he does, he later takes the time to apologize and talk things through. It may take time, but he’s reflective, honest and mature to make amends.
HE ISN’T IN THE BLEACHERS AT YOUR GAME.
He’s on the court. Coaching and leading you to be your best. Forever your biggest fan.
HE COOKS BREAKFAST ‘WELL DONE’ (BURNT).
Crackly bacon. Solid yolks. Far-too-brown waffles. His heart is in the right place—but his patience may not be. Slow and low I always say. Yet he still wakes to make your Saturday wishes come true.
HE ISN’T ALWAYS RIGHT.
Dad is sometimes wrong. He makes mistakes (and is man enough to own up to them).
THE BROKEN BACK DOOR AND (Lack of) ICE MAKER.
We reluctantly make ice cubes 12 at a time, because three years with this fridge is too soon to hook up the water? The back door? It falls off track EVERY. SINGLE DAY. If not the screen door, it’s the handle to the glass one. But he practically built everything in our tiny kingdom (by hand)! The door and the ice (or lack thereof) serve as a subtle reminder that there’s always more to be done.
Because he commutes quite a distance to provide. He works hard and comes home to give us more. More attention. More love.
HE GIVES CONSEQUENCES.
Because he cares. It’s easy to let everything go—the work is in guiding and teaching you to do the right thing. When you mess up, he still loves you—but he also holds you accountable for your actions.
HE DOESN’T LEAVE YOU ALONE.
He engages. Draws and creates with you. Asks about your day. He wants to know more.
HE SAYS NO.
To trips, to big frills, to lavish—because he’s saving for your future. He holds back. He’s responsible. He’s wise.
HE’S FALLEN IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
I always thought that I’d be Dad’s one and only true love. But I see the way he looks at you and cares for you. I’ve learned to share the love.
HE MAKES POOR CHOICES IN MUSIC.
He just does. I’ve got no excuses for that. It’s very unfocused and is likely where your attention issues stem from.
So kids, I suggest you make peace with the less-than-perfect man you call dad. Raising kids comes with a responsibility that can leave coolness and ease far out of reach. He loves you more than you can imagine, even if it does not always feel that way.
We’ll find our cool again someday. It’s likely to come back to us as you go off on your own. We’ll sit back and watch you develop your own #goals, and watch the fruits of our labor #flourish
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Sounds like Brian is “hitting the mark” as a Father. Congrats, Brian, and best wishes for a very Happy Father’s Day. You’ve earned it. XOXO
I love this! He sounds like an amazing dad, what a blessing!
Mamie L. Pack
What joy for our children to see us as both flawed but filled with love for them. There is grace in that.
Your children are so lucky to have a wonderful father and you’re lucky to have such a wonderful husband. This is the cutest and shows nothing but true love. 💕
This is such a great reminder. I definitely didn’t understand why my parents did things they did when I was younger, but now that I have a child of my own I finally understand.
I love this. It was hard for me growing up to realize my hero was just a normal person. None of us are perfect but we make such an impact on our children’ lives/
Well you did it to me again! Pulled at the heart strings. I will be passing this article to my daughters for sure. I just passed the tween years on my youngest and communication does seem to get more difficult as she gets older but I know she’ll be “back again” to me one day. I hope they think of me as a hero. Your writing is special. Thank you for sharing it.
No one is perfect and it is good to remember! We all have our faults and we all have our moments when we “miss the mark” but that is what makes us human. Our kids will remember we tried our best and as long as the good out weighs the bad and we raise our kids to be great people then all will work out.
He sounds like an awesome Dad! But what are his tastes in music?? Is he big into Jam Bands? Country Western? Or is he like me and listens to loud and obnoxious hardcore punk rock or metal? If it’s that third one, he and I can hang out for sure.
Once again, you’re making me feel all the feels! I absolutely loved this because it is so damn true.
“He’s fallen in love with someone else” THIS! My husband and I talk about this all the time. How we didn’t realize how much we could love something until those somethings came along.
Your husband sounds like a fantastic dad to you kiddos! Thanks for sharing this piece it was a pleasure to read!
I so love this! It made me look at my son’s father in a different light. Dads need props too.
Indeed, no dad is perfect but all we need is a loving dad. With all the shortcomings of my father, I remain his number one fan and I missed him terribly.
I love this! So true- as not parent is perfect because there is only one true perfect father! Thank you for sharing!
This is a great list! And so funny! I can’t wait to share with my little one when he’s older 😀
Boss Mom Outlaw
haha My husband has the worst taste in music as well. Probably one of his more heinous atrocities.
Erica (The Prepping Wife)
I love this post because being imperfect is just perfect. Everybody has their flaws, but this post celebrates that by embracing it. Something I think more people should do!
I think this is parenting at its best. Keep it up pops.
Being a father is a learn as you go process. You come with your own limits and strengths, but in the long run you can only give your best based on your abilities and capabilities.
This is such a beautiful message! Makes me think of my own dad. Things certainly haven’t been perfect, but my dad is awesome and I’m so thankful for him.
Loved this! It is so true that we, as parents, can fall off the “perfect” road. You have “perfectly” explained all this. He sounds like an amazing dad.
Sounds pretty perfect to me! He is definitely trying to do all the right things. Of course, my own dad is perfect (and bionic after his recent heart surgery). even though I may not have always thought that as a teenager.
None of us are perfect but we remain always special to our children. It took me many years to realize my dad was just a normal person with many flaws. Thanks for this amazing post
Good to come across a close to perfect dad.Keep going👍
Fly Away Godddess
This is the most touching post I’ve ever read. I don’t know why. Well I know why – I am so moved. I hope this gets the love it deserves.