How To Make Your Mother’s Day Fabulous AF

Mother’s Day can be a complete cluster if we let it. After years of high hopes and low moments, I’ve developed a plan to make your Mother’s Day (and mine!) Fabulous AF. You may have been doing Mother’s Day all wrong, but this year we’re doing it right!

Mother’s Day is a loaded holiday– and not the good kind that would make it all go away.

It’s riddled with doubt.
Guilt.
Expectation.
Stress.
Fear.
False hope.
Failure.
(Just to name a few.)

A traditional Mother’s Day is for them, not you.

Last-minute-makeshift-burnt-breakfast-in-bed because nobody planned far enough ahead to actually consider the ingredients you’d want.

For Them.

A got-woken-too-early-this-morning thanks to the unorganized Gong Show taking place in your kitchen. (And guess who’ll end up tidying up that little number?)

For Them.

Feeling optimistic? Fine.

A go-out-for-brunch-with-EVERYONE-UNDER-THE-SUN type fun! Endless hours of tech-free family fun in an overcrowded, understaffed, just-above-average eatery with your adorably-dressed cherubs… and your husband… and his mother… and your mother… and they’re not talking.

No fighting.
No spills.
No swearing.
No amount of alcohol to make this go away…

For Them.

The whole dang thing is a bust. The day isn’t for you, it’s for them. And the sooner you get on board with this, the quicker we can move on. Don’t let this new truth get you down, my dear friend. I’ve got a plan– but you must keep it under wraps!

Secret Mother’s Day.

I’ll say it again.

SECRET MOTHER’S DAY!

It’s the greatest hidden secret OF. ALL. TIME. And I’ve kept it to myself FOR YEARS! Let them have their day and let them think it’s– For You.

SHED TEARS OF JOY… 

for the shockingly charred what-was-once-wheat-toast, lovingly smeared with what we can only hope is just jam– a freshly blown snot rocket from your toddler’s snoogling schnoz is the only other guess. Yep.

GIVE GREAT PRAISE…

to the dog-has-peed-on-the-dandelions your kids stuffed in a jar to honor your worth. The unwashed hands, the unleashed passion. The dirt-of-the-earth fingernails sharp-as-glass grossly graze your face as they come in for a full-force-mouth-on-mouth kiss. The flowers (I use the term loosely) haven’t been cleared of ants.  Swell.

EXPRESS DEEP GRATITUDE…

to the Mother’s Day Meme your teen hastily sent after cruising through the entire-teeth-grinding day not realizing it was Mother’s Day. Of course, until his Instagram feed blew up. His kinder-than-him friends showered their mothers with love– and took the time to post about it.

I notice you, Mom.
I appreciate all that you do for me, Mom.
I recognize that my head is the size of an NBA regulation size basketball and it likely hurt like a MOFO to give birth to me after thirty-six hours of labor, Mom.

These are the messages that were clearly implied in the meme from your teen. Lie.

You can roll with all those powerful punches and bear absolutely no fractured feelings towards your failing (I mean, formidable!) fam. You have your thing coming!

Your Secret Mother’s Day.

It’s yours for the choosing. Seize the day!
Set a date. Don’t so much as whisper it aloud.

Go for a run. Heck, run to the spa!
Buy yourself something pretty, or fattening, or frivolous.
Eat all the things you love. All the things.
Invite a friend or do all your special things, alone.
Have a few drinks.
Shop. Eat. Read. Write.
Hire help for the house.
Purchase the throw pillows.
See that movie– in your pajamas, with the very big soda.
Take a nap. Don’t ever get out of bed.
Do all the things. And don’t tell a soul.

I don’t care if you have to call in sick.
I don’t care if you have to lie.
Just get your day.

However you meant it to be. Only your needs in attendance.

No Guilt.
No Expectation.
No Stress.
No Fear.
No False hopes.
No Failure.

Let them have the day– For Them.
There’s a Secret Mother’s Day waiting– For You.

Happy Mother’s Day.

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21 thoughts on “How To Make Your Mother’s Day Fabulous AF

  1. I can’t wait to make this day awesome!

  2. People should celebrate mothers everyday for how much the actually do! Not just one day a year but I do enjoy sleeping in a breakfast in bed made by the kids with the help of my hubby!

  3. Secret Mother’s Day…. it’s GENIUS!! Haha I love it. I’ve been thinking of doing something similar myself. I told my husband, you guys can do all the cutesy stuff (color pictures, flowers, etc. etc.) and I love it, but all I really want is to go get a pedicure by myself with a good book!

    1. Elease Colcord May 1, 2019 — 8:55 pm

      Yes! And you deserve that so much! Happy Mother’s Day!

  4. Hah, such a great idea! My husband just asked today what I want to do for Mother’s Day. I told him nothing really because we don’t usually celebrate. He and the boys will make breakfast, and we will probably end up going to his parent’s house for a bbq lunch there and swimming in their pool. I like the idea of setting myself my own day later, though!

  5. alldayactivelife May 2, 2019 — 1:51 am

    Ha! This is hilarious! It would be nice one of these years to skip prepping everything the day before so I can “relax” on Mother’s Day like my family wishes 🙂

  6. Love this! My mother’s day is traveling up to get my daughter from college (it’s a long weekend trip – she’s in CT while we are in VA) for summer. But for my mom we do it the following weekend….it works.

  7. So refreshing to read someones thoughts on what really happens on Mother’s Day! I’m on board for making my own special day and treating myself. Such a great idea.

    1. Elease Colcord May 2, 2019 — 12:01 pm

      Have a blast!

  8. That is a GENIUS idea and I am hanging onto it for when I become a mother!

  9. Interesting idea! Although I have to admit that my family usually does a pretty good job of making Mother’s Day about me.

    1. Elease Colcord May 2, 2019 — 12:00 pm

      Keep doing what you’re doing!

  10. I really wish I could spend Mom’s Day with my mom but we live in different countries and we can only call each other.

  11. I love this idea of Secret Mother’s Day!! it’s awesome

  12. I love this so much! I’ve kind of accepted I’ll never have a Mother’s Day that was enjoyable, but a secret Mother’s Day?!!!! Yes, please. 😀

  13. This is exactly how I feel about Mother’s Day! Like no one really cares about me…. but thankfully my husband gives me the whole day off so after the terrible toast and half thought up gifts early in the morning from the kids I leave for THE ENTIRE DAY. That makes my life so much better! HAHA!

  14. So refreshing and fun… My mother’s day would start with a Marathon this time and I am so looking forward to it.

  15. There is a really fab idea here for sure!

  16. I love this! Just so grateful to be able to celebrate mother’s day!

  17. This is the best idea that I have ever see. Appreciate what they do for you, but sneak away for a real treat. I’m going to go for it. Truthfully, o just want a nap:)

  18. Great post. I treated my mom to spa day and as expected my mom loved it. It was great quality time and she felt so pampered. Thanks for sharing ♥️ ♥️ Interested in doing collabs? xx

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