I, Too, Feel Bad About My Neck

My forties are…in progress.

Gone are the maintenance-free days of rolling out of bed to spring straight into the day. Once having lived life like a fluttering fairy, appearing spry and alive is now a commitment more complicated than marriage. It’s a multi-act production not fit for the weak or weary.

A small village of hard-working elves is now required to keep this piece in check. A fortune spent primping and seeking repair– it takes wax and sealant, potions and professionals, like salvaging aged art that can go either way.  Should my commitment waiver or worse, the truth will quickly arrive:   A chubbier version of The Simpson’s Mr. Burns.  A Something About Mary’s Magda.   The look: Hollywood homeless.

Traveling without an emergency hair removal kit in the car console is no longer safe.  My rear-view mirror taunts me. It weaves between the role of friend and foe and I never quite know what it will reveal. (How two-faced.)  Delighted one day and frightened the next, surprises are always lurking! A sunspot, a dry spot, a wiry hair– I don’t care for this game.

Lip gloss and lashes.
Self-tanners and toners.
Night creams and day creams.
And far too much ice cream…
(Eek, that wasn’t on the plan!)

Yo-Yo diets that endlessly fail.
Too much attention to the size of my tail.
Sit-ups and squats are no longer fun.
I’m not sure I’m able to shrink my ever-expanding bum.

Pedicures and Aquaphor and shaving with cream.
Waxing and concealing and rowing machines.
Appointments and scheduling,
The commitments obscene.
You’d think I was working the Hollywood scene.

It’s all so… exhausting!

On the bright (Sunny!) side– there’s my hair!  Despite that it grays at the speed of light and to air dry would leave you aghast, thanks to a killer stylist and a butt-load of cash, my hair looks better than it did in my twenties. It straightens and it curls, it crimps and keratins.  It holds blond like the Barbie I once wished I was.  My hair is my glory, my literal crown.

For all my wishes to be at peace with where I stand in time, my actions are proving otherwise!  Like an amateur alchemist, I continue to fiddle and futz with the prospect of youth.  Endlessly seeking non-surgical solutions to slow down the symptoms of time.

There’s that ironic twist– when we look back at snaps of our earlier days. Perplexed at how fresh and fair we appeared, we were radiating with youth! Thirty back to twenty.  Forty longingly at thirty.  I imagine I’ll read this back a decade from now and cringe with irritated disbelief. (What a queen.)

For now, I will bat my eyes and fluff my hair.  Offering the illusion of youth, they’ll keep the eye from straying to the trainwreck brewing below.

I, too, feel bad about my neck, and arms, and tummy, and– you get the point.  I’ll aim to grow older (and bigger) with humility and grace, but you really can’t blame a girl for trying!

. . . . . . . . . .

Sunny Side reading book

Nora Ephron is my Spirit Animal. The author of every girl’s favorite romantic comedies: Sleepless In Seatle, When Harry Met Sally, You’ve Got Mail, Julia & Julia to name a few. She is EVERYTHING.  I am enthralled in her work and her life; I want to know all the details. (She’s my Julia Childs of Julia & Julia.) Her style of writing, production, her voice– it resonates to the core.

Creative in so many ways, I Feel Bad About My Neck (And Other Thoughts On Being  Woman) is my new fave. Honesty wrapped so perfectly in levity and wit. Stories of perspective and moments in time.

I see myself in Nora’s writing. I laughed (hard!) and made connections in so many ways. One lesson, in particular, I had already known– I just needed somebody else to say it: Everything Is Content. It’s a validation that I had to hear. The fat on my butt, the flowers in my garden, how I feel about eggs (I love them, by the way). It’s all part of my story.

I, too, feel bad about my neck– but I no longer feel bad about telling you about it.

Here’s to Ms. Ephron for writing the path! (Pun intended.)  For your honesty, humor, your love of food, and romantic ingenuity (which will never allow a man to live up to a girl’s unachievable romantic standard), I thank you.  Cheers!

. . . . . . . . . .

The Bellini was Nora’s favorite cocktail; it’s fruity, fun & fabulous.

Sparkling wine & a splash of peach puree– that’s all it takes!

Bellini cocktail photo
Nora Ephron’s favorite cocktail, the Bellini.

Served beside the comically coordinated Little Neck Clams– so fitting for an afternoon delight.

Little Neck Clams
Little Neck Clams, perfectly paired.

All we need is Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks and the deal will be sealed!  Should they be unable to attend, it’s perfectly appropriate for a party for one.

The Sunny Side of Something Food Prep

Grab your Book, Bevie & Bite.  You’re in for a real treat. ~Cheers!

Sunny Side in hammock

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29 thoughts on “I, Too, Feel Bad About My Neck

  1. I love a good book that can make me laugh. It put me in mind of Erma Bombeck, an author that laughed at herself over and over in her books. I’m looking forward to reading this.

    1. Enjoy!

  2. The scene in the deli in When Harry Met Sally stills makes me laugh. (I’ll have what she’s having) Nora wrote some amazing stories for sure. Growing old is part of growing. Be happy you still got what you got and you’re around to enjoy it! It beats the alternative. And remember you’re not old, just older. And now I want little necks! Love your posts.

    1. Ah yes, Scott! A good reminder to be grateful for being here!

  3. This seems like it would be a great book to read that is sure to put a smile on your face, I know many who are scared of getting older and others who have no problem with it. I think this book would be great for both types of people!

  4. Your post has reminded me to live to my fullest and enjoy everything there is to enjoy while the energy is still there. Thank you for sharing.

    1. Made my day, thanks!

  5. This post is everything! I feel all of this (on aging) and now I must go out a pick up a copy of this book! Don’t you just love it when you find a writer that can get across the exact sentiment of how you feel?! Love this so much!

  6. I read a novel of Nora Ephron’s years ago and loved it. Was about a food writer breaking up from her husband, and I can’t for the life of me remember the title. But it was great – I’ll look forward to trying this one.

  7. Nicole Anderson April 24, 2019 — 4:52 am

    I love the poetry you included here. Really made me relate somewhat and have a good laugh. Nora Ephron has really produced some great works and I just love her stuff. Haven’t yet read ‘I feel bad about my neck’ but really want to now after this post.

    1. Enjoy it– it’s funny and touching!

  8. Love your writing in this post. While I think most of us definitely are a bit afraid of getting older, we have to remember that that’s how life goes! And instead of fearing and avoiding, we can embrace it with open arms 🙂

    1. TOtally! Thanks for stopping by!

  9. I am so into romantic comedies. Why havent I checked out any work of Nora Ephron’s yet! Will be getting my hands on this one! 😍

  10. Reading a good book gives me a happiness of a different kind. And there were years I went through without reading due to work related engagements. This book sounds good. I love romantic themes.

  11. Well, I could see part of myself in your post. So, gone are the “maintenance-free days.” No worries, we’ll go with the flow! I like Nora Ephron’s style. Her latest book, on my bucket list.

  12. It’s that time of the year where good book needs to be read outside. Just found which one to start with

    1. Oh, it’s the best! Enjoy and please come back and tell me what you thought!

  13. I can so totally relate. I’m checking this out on audible, for sure!

    1. The audio is awesome! You really get to know HER.

  14. Elizabeth | Tiredmom Supermom April 25, 2019 — 4:00 am

    I really need to make more time for reading books! This looks so relaxing and peaceful.

  15. Oh, how I need to read this! I laughed out loud—any woman over 40 can relate to this so well!

  16. Oh how I laughed reading this post! Because it is so relatable. My favorite person on the planet is 30 years older than I am, and at 62 still has a head of solid black hair with not a single grey in sight, minus his goatee. Meanwhile I let mine grow out a mere inch or two and I look like I’m his age! It’s the joys of growing older, grayer, and a little rounder. Lol.

  17. I don’t know…I feel like my life has only gotten better with age, and every wrinkle and grey hair makes me feel accomplished. I kind of hate we are pinned into this idea of looking a certain way and having to “maintain” ourselves rather than just enjoying our lives and natural appearance. As a photographer, I find so much beauty in the lines of the elderly, like a road map to all of their joy and pain through the decades…but maybe I am just too much of an artsy fartsy person to see it any other way. You are beautiful, and you shouldn’t worry so much about aging. There will always be someone younger and prettier at any junction of life, but there’s only one you!

  18. I love Sleepless in Seattle, and makes me wonder why they dont do this kind of movies anymore?!
    I will check this book, sounds promising.

  19. Beautiful pics! I love Nora Ephron, so I think I’ll have to read this!

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