Yes, Girl, It’s Time To Slay The Dragon. Setting boundaries to say yes to success.
Do you ever find yourself in your own way — creating obstacles that inhibit your own success? And that in some way you might be your very own dragon?
I found myself actively trying to convince friends to cancel their movers the other day. They had hired a crew to unload the pod that was shipped in their five-person cross-country move. I suggested it was ridiculous to have booked them in the first place—it couldn’t be that much work, pish-posh. We’ll help!
It doesn’t stop there…
Planning a fundraiser? I’d be glad to assist!
Nope, can’t meet on Tuesday or Thursday—I coach.
Decorating Committee, you’ve got it!
NO—it’s your birthday. I’ll take care of all the details.
Your wedding cake—I’ve always wanted to learn fondant!
(I sincerely did this—not once, but twice!)
Yes, I’ll host. I’ll make everything, we’re not ordering in.
Don’t hire landscapers—we’ll figure it out together.
Just call me, we’ll play some tunes and paint your entire house!
I can take that wall down myself!
Recently, I (half) jokingly suggested I fill in as an instructor at my fitness studio…
Have you SEEN my form on the mat?
(It’s a stretch– Bazinga!)
I am a yes girl. I love to please—no matter the length or the means. I’m also an idea girl. So not only will I say yes, but I’ll proudly multiply the tasks to really make a project dazzle! It might be something to laugh off in isolation, endearing one might even think, but at a closer glance—trouble lurks.
While I have no difficulty spotting patterns in others—it seems I’m intellectually stunted when it comes to carving my own path to success. As an outgoing gal with a deficit in attention (squirrel!), I wrestle two clashing personalities that squawk incessantly in my head. Much like Seinfeld’s bit on Nighttime Jerry not considering Daytime Jerry in his evening galavants, I’m tangled between “Yes Girl” and “Success Girl”—and they’re suiting up to have it out.
Yes Girl knows not what she does. The sun rises and coffee has its way with her. An inner soundtrack begins to play, her inner monologue sings along! Birds flutter about; it’s good to be alive! (See what we’re working with here?) With a euphoric sense of energy, happiness, and life, the day gets going and there’s just no telling what or who she’ll commit to, say yes to, or worse—set new multi-level ideas into motion.
The evening rolls around; the sun goes down. The day wears away—Success Girl is plagued by what has happened.
Success Girl—she has her own sparkle too, with energy and passion ablaze! Projects and ideas, creative energy flows—but there’s never enough time for the things she wants to do, to learn, to create.
I’m not looking to take sides. They’re both great gals-—but I think, just maybe, Yes Girl is to blame. (Gasp!)
I love to say yes. It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling and helps me sleep soundly at night. It is fun and exciting but isn’t serving me well. What I’m learning (at the pace of a knocked-up snail) is that saying Yes takes away from Success.
I am my own dragon and she needs to be slain. (With caution.)
It’s hard to take power from something you love; it feels weird and wrong. But putting my wishes front and center is my goal for the time being. I want more.
Being a No Girl is just not my style. (Sunny!) Instead, I’ll say yes—but going forward, it’s yes to success!
Yes, I will…talk to myself.
Writers are eccentric—so I’ll be on trend! My little friend Yes will feel so heard and validated. I like her, she has great ideas, her timing is just off. I will let her speak, thank her for contributing, and promptly send her on her way.
Yes, I will prioritize!
One can’t simply say no to everything, can she? Can she! There are just some things I’m always willing to say yes to—and family fun will always come first! (And the not-so-fun I presume—ugh.) Going forward I plan to be MIA from the PTA or any other acronym that will exhaust me of my time. Yes, thank you for asking—perhaps some other time.
Yes to projects.
Yes to writing.
Yes to relationships.
Yes to creating.
Yes to collaborations.
Yes to growth.
Yes to health.
Yes to partnerships
Yes to honesty.
Yes to vulnerability.
Yes to change.
Yes to adventure.
Yes to Success.
Yes will also come with sacrifice.
Less late nights.
Less wasting time.
For now, less is best.
IN CONCLUSION— The line is drawn in the sand.
I’m ready to slay the dragon that is Yes Girl.
What about you—can you identify your dragon?
Whatever’s in your way: