What Surprised Me The Most
Who or what surprised you the most this year?
While I’m always surprised by People Magazine’s choice for The Sexiest Man Alive, this year’s choice hasn’t caused me too much stress. I’m surprised by how quickly my hair turns gray. I’m also surprised by how fast my kids grow. But here’s where my thoughts linger…
Confidence is not something I generally lack and it’s taken decades to feel comfortable with that. I try to live with thoughtful intention and grow from my feelings and actions. I’ve put in the work– but like any good quest, there’s more to be done.
What continues to surprise me is how others still hold power in how I feel or value myself. It’s not all-encompassing, but it’s enough that it’s there.
I am sensitive; it’s both a gift and a curse. I still care what people think– not to the extent that it used to be, but it still bugs me. Being overlooked for a job, an invite, or otherwise; I hate that these things still matter.
I know these thoughts will never fully dissipate (and I suspect they shouldn’t fully). I value strength and self-love, and I encourage my children and friends to stand proud, be confident and decide their worth for themselves. While I do live these ideals on most days, I’m still surprised at just how authentically challenging it can be.
I will keep moving forward and should I find my emotions in someone else’s hands, I’ll consider ‘the why’ of it all. I mean– what is it that they have that I can’t seem to give to myself? (Don’t answer that!)
Sometimes we ask questions that won’t go away like, why do Twinkies make you fat? These questions (and more!) are in need of a deeper review.