What Your Google Search History Says About You

What Your Google Search History Says About You!

Google, Alexa, and Siri– the modern-day Mean Girls of 2000Tech.  The no-it-all gal pals who are sleek, smooth, and always on-trend. Everyone has their number, they’re in everyone else’s business and they’re willing to tell (and sell!) you anything– all you have to do is ask.

On the receiving end– search results, photos albums, I’m always impressed by those who can just whip out their phones and publicly flip through their browser or personal albums without fear or shame, no worries of what the mean girls have to reveal. Personally, I break into hives. Not that I’m a pervert or anything, and maybe I can blame it on blogging (But I doubt it!)– but between memes, selfies, screenshots, parenting, and more, there’s gonna be (A lot of!) explaining to do!

No matter how clean and clear your photo album (or how secure you believe you’ve made them!) I’m willing to bet that your Google search history is less than squeaky clean. The Queen Bee Google knows more of your secrets than a Catholic Priest who just got wind of the good word. Hey, I’m not here to judge! I’m just grateful we have Google to call on when there’s a less-than-comfortable question to ask. At that very moment, she’s your friend!

While there’s no question that this week’s Google search has left me squirming around from nerves, I’m hoping this helps you feel better about yours.  Have a chuckle on my behalf.

6 Things I Googled This Week

Cifilis. Ciphillus. Ciphyllis. Syphilis!

Huh, a surprisingly difficult word to spell while such an easy infection to contract! Even after typing the first four letters my google search didn’t even want me to get to Ciphyllis. Ciphillus. Syphilis! Oops, that’s because I spelled it wrong.

You don’t have to worry about me with these health risks. (Unless you know something I don’t!) It’s just a word I toss out in witty wonder and feel that sometimes I need to brush up on my facts to be sure I’m using (and spelling!) it correctly. Now let’s move on as I’m starting to itch.

How to Shave My Face.

Errr, this post is seriously beginning to feel like a bad idea. I don’t know if Pinterest and Youtube just have too much of my attention or if I’m just more willing to latch on to any beauty trend that falls short of going under the knife…although shaving feels a little too close now that I write about it! It feels like this is a trend— is it new or am I late to the party?

Symptoms of Bipolar.

Do you get in a room with extended family for the holidays, assess the habits of those around you and feel there’s a diagnosis to be made? I’m not sure if it’s the full moon, the holiday bustle or the essence of family life but… Bipolar.

How To Lose a Double Chin.

I’m not proud, but it’s there. I have a double chin— it’s been there for forever, even in my skinnier days. You will never see a photo of me from a side angle, ever– and I will put a hit out on you if you try.  (Yes, next week’s “I Googled A Hit Man And Got My Self Arrested’ post is ready and in the queue.) Turns out my belly isn’t the only area that needs firming and well– remember that no under the knife thing? God, I’m sensing a theme.

Dwight, You Ignorant Slut.

Who hasn’t googled this phrase at one time or another? I did– because I saw this and knew Lily just had to have it. It was my favorite gift I gave this year.

Will More Lube Do The Trick?

I don’t know what’s going on here…but the doors in our house are bringing me to the very edge! Brian, (God love him) has spent just about every day of his ‘vacation’ working on the oh-so-many to-dos that were building up. Tiling, grouting, plumbing, and for-the-love-of-god-FIXING-THE-SQUEAKING-DOORS! And he did– BUT now they’re worse than they were before. Is there no amount of lube that can kill the noise? TIA for any solutions that don’t involve things I’m too embarrassed to look into myself– which is saying a lot!

So what say you, Google?

Actually, don’t answer that!

My search has proven to be something I likely should have kept in lock-down mode! I’ve got issues, that’s for sure! (And so do you for reading about them!)

What would your google search say about you?